The recovery we had within us.

This is a story of recover, a journey so hard yet important for us all.

It’s been 10 years since my brother left us. 10 years is such a long time. There are just some people in this world that you can connect to, feel a sense of attachment that is built in time with love. He was my inspiration; a reflection of the person I am today. It’s not a family that tied us together but rather our minds and hearts. He may not have noticed what impact he had on me or on our sister or on anyone and everyone that loved him dearly but that didn’t matter anymore. I couldn’t sit and brood about whether he noticed me, I knew I saw him. I noticed his clear white wings spread over a fair amount of distance and it was beautiful to watch. He left us at a young age of 17. It’s been 5-6  years that I have been circling it in my head enough to be able to say I wanted to end my life like he did.  But I was growing up, it was a part of who I was becoming. I was learning what being alive meant, I was experimenting the meaning of life and whether it was worth the struggle. Sometimes, in my mind, he posed as an excuse for me to let go.

Today, today is a beautiful day for me. I can say I have grown up because today I have learnt to let go. I have had help from friends and family but mostly, I have had help from myself. I stopped thinking of my brother as an escape and began remembering him as a blessing that lasted enough to make memories and that was it. I had the most astounding memories with him and nothing could make them go away. So I turned what was a sorrowful negative period of my life and turned it into what gives me the hope to go on today. People come and go and the day you understand what this means is the day you will learn to be happy. People do come and make our lives worth living but they will always leave and that doesn’t mean it’s the end of your life. It simply indicates the beginning of a new chapter. Its the experiences and the memories that make you who you are today.

Now we will take a deep breath and put our thoughts in unison and we will wake up to a whole new day filled with newness and a tint of excitement to discover what happens when you move forward instead of moving backwards and living your life rewinding a scene at a time. It’s about what the present holds for you as the past is with us in the form of beautiful memories.

Hold your hand out, the rain pours down for you

Jump into the air, the clouds are waiting to reach you

Pass a smile today, the day is here to greet you

Live, life is but here to be a part of you.

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